Walt You - 知行合一

PowerPhrases


Maybe someone of you have heard about《PowerPhrases》which have another name called “The perfect words to Say it Right and Get the Results you want”.

Is it looks interesting for you ? let’s start read it.



Overview

The brain graph abou this books is:

What is it used for?

  • Assure common understanding.
  • Clear up conflict.
  • Establish a connection.
  • Get what you want.
  • Refuse what you don’t want.

What is PowerPhrases?

PowerPhrase: A short, specific expression that gets results by saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and not being mean when you say it.

  • A PowerPhrase Is a SHORT Expression.
    • Less is more!
      • “I have a dream!”
  • PowerPhrases Get RESULTS
  • PowerPhrases Say What You Mean
    • Do you really say what you mean? Or do you avoid clarity to avoid a reaction?
    • NOT: “That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
    • YES: “This is a problem. We need to find a solution.”
  • With PowerPhrases You Mean What You Say!
    • You need back your words up with actions.
  • PowerPhrases Avoid Being Mean
    • PowerPhrases Avoid Sarcasm.
    • PowerPhrases Avoid Overkill.
    • PowerPhrases Avoid Assumption of Guilt.
    • PowerPhrases Avoid Attempts to Outsmart the Other Person With Wit.

PowerPhrase wisdom says, before you speak, ask yourself:

  1. Is it short?
  2. Is it specific?
  3. Is it focused?
  4. Does it truly say what I mean?
  5. Do I intend to back my words with action?
  6. Am I being kind in my choice of words?

Poison Phrases vs PowerPhrases

1. Avoid Filler Poison Phrases

Qualifiers, hedges and softener phrases weaken your message. Anything you say that does not add to your message makes it weaker:

— Well…

— Sort of…

— I just…

— I would tend to…

— I guess…

Use:

  • This is the best proposal…

Instead of :

  • You know?
  • Isn’t it?
  • Right?
  • Do you see?

2. Replace Indecisive Poison Phrases WithDecisive PowerPhrases

Speak with certainty and decisiveness. If you cannot be certain on one position, express what you can be certain about.

Avoid Replace with
I should… I will…
I’ll try… I will…
I might be able to… What I can commit to is…
I sort of think… I know…
It’s just my opinion… I believe…
I would tend to think… I think…
You might want to consider… I recommend…

3. Replace Poison Phrases That Deflect Due Credit and Replace Them With PowerPhrases That Accept Due Credit

Avoid Replace with
I got lucky. I worked hard.
It was nothing… Thanks for noticing.
This old thing? Thank you.
Anyone could have… I’m pleased with the outcome too.

4. Replace Negative Poison Phrases With Positive PowerPhrases

Avoid Replace with
Everything went wrong… I learned from some setbacks.
I’ll have to… I’ll be glad to…
I can’t… What I can do is…
I am spending time… I am investing time…
I’m no good at… I’m getting better at…
You’ll have to excuse… Here it is…
If only I had… Starting now I will…
This is bad… What good can we get out of this?
I can’t get to this until… I can get to this by…
Don’t forget to…(log off of your computer.) Be certain to…(log off of your computer.)

5. Replace Absolute Poison Phrases and Labels With Accurate PowerPhrases

Avoid Replace with
You always… On several occasions you have…
I never… Up until now I have not…
Everything… Many things…
You’re lazy. Your performance is not up to standard.
You are incompetent. There are several mistakes here that need to be fixed.

6. Replace Victim Poison Phrases With PowerPhrases That Place Responsibility and Emphasis Where It Is Due

Avoid saying:

  • You make me so mad.

  • You make me feel wonderful !

Those phrases imply you have no control over your own emotions. You don’t want to send that message. Avoid implying that you do not have the ability to choose alter- native thoughts and behaviors.

You may have heard it suggested that you should replace accusative sounding “you” statements with “I” state- ments, such as:

  • I feel angry when you…

  • I feel wonderful when you…

If the subject of your communication is your anger or wonderful feelings, the above statements are appropriate and accurate PowerPhrases. If the subject is something else, the above statements are not PowerPhrases.

If the point you want to make is that Joe’s tardiness caus- es you all kinds of problems, do not make Joe or yourself the subject of the communication. Rather than saying:

— You make me mad when you come late.

or:

— I get angry when you are late.

Use a PowerPhrase to Place Responsibility and Em- phasis Where It Is Due, such as:

  • Starting late causes serious problems which we need to address.

Do not say:

— You are not being clear. (Accusatory)

— I am not following you. (Makes you the subject.)

Instead use a PowerPhrase to Place Responsibility and Emphasis Where It Is Due, such as:

  • Please clarify this point.

  • That last point is not clear to me.

7. Replace Hints and Vague Poison Phrases With Specific PowerPhrases

Avoid Replace with
I sure wish someone would… Will you…
I’d like to have something like… I want ___ by___ because___.
You need to do a better job. Your performance needs to be improved. Here are the criteria for acceptable performance. Number one…

8. Avoid Emotional Poison Phrases in Business Situations Where Factual Action-Based PowerPhrases Hold More Power

Avoid Replace with
I feel great about this proposal. This proposal will improve our bottom line by ___.
I don’t like this idea. There are three serious problems with this idea. First…
I am angry about this delay. How do you plan to get back on schedule after this delay?

9. Avoid Passive Poison Phrases and Replace With Active PowerPhrases

Avoid Replace with
The acquisition contract was signed by the CFO. The CFO signed the acquisition contract.
The bone was buried by the dog. The dog buried the bone.

How to say “No”

The Three-Step Process for Saying “No”

When You Refuse a Request, ACT!

1. Acknowledge their request.

Say something to recognize their request. Make a short comment to let them know that you heard them and you are considering what they said.

2. Clarify your Circumstance.

Tell them a little bit about your own situation. Be brief. Mention what it is that keeps you from being able to honor their request.

3. Transform your refusal into a positive. Suggest alternatives or make a comment that reaffirms the relationship such as:

  • Some other time.

Put them all together and you have a three-step “no.”

  • It sounds like a great idea. Unfortunately I have other priorities. Perhaps next time I can.
Acknowledge Circumstances Transform
I understand this is important. My situation is … Perhaps next time.
Ordinarily I would love to help. My policy is … Thanks for asking.
I appreciate you thinking of me. I have other plans… I’m sure you’ll find the right person you need.
I would if I could. I have other involvements. Have you considered..?
I wish I could help out here. I’m not well-suited to do what you want. Here’s an option…
I see you need help. After looking at my calendar I see I can’t give you the help you need. Have you considered asking ___?
I’m honored that you thought of me. After realizing the scope of the request, I choose to pass. I wish you success.

Saying “No” in Two Parts

When you say no in two parts, it sounds stronger. Some people’s sensitivity causes them to hear the slightest hint of “no” as a personal rejection and they need a softer ver- sion. Use all three steps for them. Others do not take it as personally, and a two-part no works well.

There are some people that will argue with and attempt to manipulate anything we say. A two-part no works better with these.

Acknowledge Circumstances Transform
I’d love to. However, I am busy.  
Thanks for asking. Not this time.  
  My boss has already scheduled my time. If you want, you can ask her.
Sounds interesting. I have other commitments.  
  I have a 3:00 deadline. I wish I could.

Power Thinking to the Rescue

What are you telling yourself that keeps you from saying “no”? Don’t think:

— If I say no, they may not like me.

— I better be nice.

— I shouldn’t say what I think.

Instead, use Power Thinking. Think:

  • What are my true priorities?

  • What response best serves my true priorities?

  • How can I communicate that as graciously and effectively as possible?

When a Simple “NO” Is a PowerPhrase

Stronger PowerPhrases can be called for when:

  1. The listener is unusually direct,

  2. The listener is manipulative or a “taker,” or

  3. The listener hears acknowledgement as uncertainty or as an opening.

Turning Your NO Into a Negotiation

Sometimes, rather than completely refusing a request or offer, you can suggest alternatives. For example, when one assistant was asked to make copies, she said she would love to but she had a huge stack of orders to file. Then she used the PowerPhrase:

  • I’ll do it if you’ll…(help file orders).
Acknowledge Circumstances Transform
I know this project is top priority. In order to meet the deadline I need to have uninterrupted time. I can do this if you’ll answer the phones.
I know this is important. I am working on the XYZ account. Which is the priority?
    What can I put aside to make time to complete this?

PowerPhrases That Buy You Time

Delay phrases lack the power of a clear refusal, but are superior to a yes when you do not mean it. Learn the PowerPhrases for Buying Time.

  • Let me get back to you.
  • I need to check on a few things before answering you.
  • I need to give this consideration before responding.
  • Let me think about it and let you know.
  • I’ll see what I can do and tell you tomorrow.

When They Ask, “Will You Do Me a Favor?”

Avoid saying:

— Sure.

Instead, use a PowerPhrase for Getting Clarification Before Agreeing, such as:

  • What do you need?
  • I just might! What is it?
  • Tell me what and I’ll see.
  • I need to know what the favor is before I can answer you.

PowerPhrases That Transform Conflicts Into Understanding

Power Thinking to the Rescue

Avoid thinking:

— I better avoid this disagreement. — I can’t handle conflict. — Who do they think they are?

Instead, choose Power Thoughts, such as:

  • There is a solution here.
  • Conflict is a normal part of life and we will get to the other side.
  • I can stay calm and express myself gracefully.
  • What do I want? What do they want? How can we resolve this?

When conflicts arise, you must know how to make your CASE! That means:

  • Clarify their position
  • Assert your position
  • Seek solutions and
  • Evaluate options and create agreements.

1: Clarifying Their Position

Seek first to understand, and make it clear to them that you do. Then seek to be understood.

You will get excellent results when you demonstrate interest and concern as the first step in managing conflict. Explore your assumptions by asking questions. Ask your questions gracefully.

Watch out for set-up questions like:

  • Why…?
  • Why don’t you ever…?
  • Why do you always…?

Also avoid accusative, closed-ended questions that result in defensiveness, such as:

  • Did you do that to sabotage me?
  • Are you out to get me?

Instead, use a PowerPhrase to Ask Clarifying Questions, such as:

  • Help me to understand…
  • Let me make sure I understand you clearly…
  • Are you aware…? (I LOVE this one!)
  • Your intentions are not clear to me. Can you help me out here?
  • What did you mean by…?

to be continue….


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